i spoke to a sp…


i spoke to a spirit guide

i saw him fix my heart and move it around like a …. gear for lack of a better word

circles within circles and he healed them

i then played a trick on myself and worried about an ill intentioned creature, and  i worried it messed with my heart,. i know it was my mind because in the past i have had the habit of hurting myself by thinking of things that can hurt me.

i asked the tarot about my heart



in my heart

respect for the void and the voids respect




what do you do …


what do you do when you feel like you’re too nice and people walk all over you for it?  

unappreciation and the taking advantage. i see anger and it passes through me. cleans me out like a ritual fire.

dream 4/2/2012

had this intense dream where i was walking around with my brother,ken megan”, and her friend.  we all went to a movie and after we walked around. It was night and we decided to go the beach, everyone was really excited. at certain points megan would touch me a lot, and at one point came up behind me, with her arms at both sides and rubbed with her arms everywhere around my penis. later  megan’s friend’s father approached me and asked me if he could trust me to make sure his daughter didnt get into trouble.  later i am all of a sudden in my room on my computer and i start talking to a kid through video chat that i know but never really talked to much (i do  not know him in waking life but he somehow feels familiar to someone i do know in this life but i’m not sure who, actually he was kind of like bobby but a mix with someone else).  we’re talking and he was doing a lot of othe things on the internet and he had a headset on. we were talking about joss whedons avengers and he was talking about how excited he was and i thought it seemed promising. someohow i ended up video chatting someone else and then things got very scary and intense.  i dont remember what we were talking about but they ended up either talking about suicide or sex or both and then they would leave mysteriously and other videos would pop up, like a bunch, like pop ads and when i would click the x’s they would get bigger and it would just be these videos of worms or maggots in peoples heads along with sexual imagery and i was trying my best to not look at this while trying to click the x’s only making them  come up bigger. it was a frantic event.  at one point a video of a mom came up and she started to talk to me in a cheery way about how i should talk to her son because he wants to commit suicide and that she doesn’t really want to talk about it (in a joyful happy mom tone).  i realized that the pop ups were just that, pop ups of prerecorded sex and death (earlier they were live footage of all this insanity).  anyways strange intense dream. glad i got that out of me. like taking a nice poop. feel very much better now.

the title of yo…


the title of you’re institution is now insillated into sky’s skrying

Ra Roars like a mother lion

teaching hir children how to behave

with solar flares and impenatrable waves


6 gracious thank you’s to our source


love is the light, light up the will